


Silent Tears

by GoldenStardust



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bonding Time, Crying Keith (Voltron), Depressed Keith (Voltron), Gen, Gender-neutral pronouns for Pidge, Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron) is Scared, Keith (Voltron) needs love, Keith (voltron) has PTSD, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Scared Keith (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) knows Keith’s secrets, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Suicide, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-22 23:36:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13177614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenStardust/pseuds/GoldenStardust
Summary: After some technical difficulties with Lance and Keith’s rooms, they end up having to share a room with each other. Neither are particularly exited about the current situation, but they deal with it anyways.During the process, Lance can tell that Keith’s trying to hide something, and can’t help but notice how often he wakes up during the night and his sudden disappearances, and eventually Lance confronts him about everything.He makes discoveries, and learns things that Keith usually keeps locked away in the deepest depths of his mind.





	Silent Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Just a few things before you read. 
> 
> 1.) I do not have PTSD or depression as Keith does in this story, I’m just going off of a bit of researching and imagining what they could feel like. I apologize in advance if I get it all wrong, but I’m trying my best ;w;
> 
> 2.) This whole fanfic is just some bonding time for my Red and Blue boys, with a bit of angst added in. Not exactly Klance, but close enough. 
> 
> 3.) HOOOOOO BOY  
> GUESS WHOS BACK  
> it’s me! I’m back and better than ever! I’m also super relaxed from my vacation and so ready to write again. Anyways, while away, I was reading over this piece, and I was super unsatisfied with the ending. I had rushed it so I could put something out before I left, but it turned out really badly. So, I’m changing it! I’ve also done a good bit of editing, so count this as a better, more polished version of the story. Enjoy!
> 
> Sorry for any inconveniences these points may cause you! Please enjoy the story!

**Trigger Warnings:** Suicide, cursing, self harm, depression.   

“Listen, I know that you two may not be thrilled about the situation at hand, but we don’t want you guys freezing at night,” Shiro said, folding his arms over his chest.

”There is _**no way**_ thatI’m about to _share a room_ with _Keith_!“ Lance yelled, throwing his hands up once again. “Who  _knows_ what sort of weird stuff he does in his sleep! What if he snores? Or sleep-talks? Or...” he gasped, “What if he  _sleepwalks_?! I am **not**  willing to chase down a sleepwalking Keith all night, thank you.”

”I’m not exactly thrilled either, Lance. I don’t want this as much as you don’t,” Keith grumbled. He too was rather sour about this, but for differed reasons than just not wanting to deal with Lance.  

“Listen, I’m done with talking about this. Allura will show you to your room when you want to go to bed. There will be two beds, and a two-person bathroom, and _**heat**_. So stop arguing and work it out yourselves.” And with that, Shiro turned his back to the younger boys and went off to do something more productive. 

After a deep sigh from Lance, who let his head hang back all the way, he grumbled out a simple phrase; “This blows, man...”

Keith hummed in agreement, but quickly padded off to catch Shiro, to try and convince him to call off this whole ordeal. 

A moment to catch up behind him, Keith tugged on Shiro’s arm and looked at him with pleading, almost desperate, eyes. “Shiro, please _, please_ don’t make us—“ 

“Keith, if this is about the room, you need to drop it,” Shiro interjected.

”But _Shiro_ ,” he pleaded, clutching his robotic arm tighter. “You _know_ about my, um, _y’know_...” he whispered, praying that Lance wasn’t trying to overhear. “What would Lance think about them?” 

“They're perfectly normal, Keith. Lance won’t care,” he tried, not seeing to calm the nerves of the black-haired boy. 

“Yes, he _will_! He’s going to think I’m some little kid or something! He’d never take me seriously ever again!”

”I’m pretty sure he doesn’t take you seriously _now_ , so that probably won’t be much of a problem,” Shiro deadpanned, 100% done with this. “ _ **Shiro**_!” Keith squeaked, earning a snort from him. “Sorry, but honestly. He won’t care, I swear. Now, please, just _drop it_.” 

And just like that, Keith was alone. He just stared as Shiro went to talk to Allura, probably about something much more important. Lance eventually did join Keith, looking extremely bored and annoyed with how everything had turned out. 

“So, what was that? Like, I know I may not be your favorite person in the universe, but you looked like you were about to _cry_. Am I really that bad?” He scoffed, stuffing balled fists into his pockets. 

Keith jumped, suddenly becoming much more flustered and nervous then before. “I, uh, n-no, it’s not you, I just... I need to train..!” He managed, quickly running off to the training deck. 

Lance scowled, turning away to find Hunk. 

_“Dick...”_

 

_**———** _

 

”Right this way, boys!” Allura called, waving a hand for them to follow. 

It was late, later than the two boys would usually stay up, but both had been avoiding sharing a room with one another, so they stayed up. Eventually, Lance was done, and really needed some sleep, so he asked Allura for directions. Keith has wanted to come as well, though he still seemed a little nervous about... well, _**something**_. Lance wasn’t exactly sure what was wrong, but he honestly was much too tired to care. 

“Here it is!” She announced, waving an arm in front of a door. “There should be everything you need in here, like sleepwear and your human tooth-cleaning kits, but if there is anything else you need, I’m confident you can figure out where to find it.”

Lance and Keith gave barely understandable responses, staggering into the room, the door sliding closed behind them. They each went their separate ways afterwords, Keith heading to the bathroom and Lance getting changed into pajama pants. After quickly slipping them on, he joined Keith in the bathroom. They brushed their teeth in silence, an awkward tension between the two boys. 

Lance continued his nighttime routine in the bathroom while Keith left, scoping out the room. It was simple enough, two beds on either wall of the room and a dresser and desk. Keith claimed one of the beds, farther from the bathroom, when Lance walked back out. 

“Dude, _what is on your face_?” Keith snorted, a crooked smirk playing  on his lips. Lance shot him an unimpressed look, rummaging around a pile of his “necessities” on his bed. “It’s a facemask, _idiot_. Do you really think this flawless skin can just come _**naturally**_ to anyone?”

”Woah, sorry. Didn’t realize I hit a nerve there,” he laughed, kicking his shoes off. 

Lance pulled a pair of headphones and an Altea eqvalent to an iPod out of his pile, putting the rest on a nearby drawer. He slipped the headphones on and began scrolling through the hologram to find a song. “Whatever, mullet. But when I have flawless completion tomorrow, you’ll know that only _almost_ all of that is natural beauty.”

Keith hummed a response, no real meaning behind it. He yawned, finally changing into a black tank top and red sleep pants on and climbed into bed. 

“ _Dude_.”

“What, Lance?”

”You sleep with your socks on? _How_?”

”Goodnight, Lance...” Keith grumbled, facing the wall. 

Lance scowled, not appreciating getting ignored, but also climbed into bed, and into sleep.

 

**———**

 

Lanceawoke the next morning to an empty room. After the sleepiness drained from his eyes, he noticed Keith’s bed to be empty. Lance sighed, _how early did that boy wake up?_ It couldn’t have been very late, maybe seven at the latest. Yet, Keith was nowhere to be found.

It took a few minutes, and even more attempts, but he eventually dragged himself out of the room. He was heading strait for the kitchen, hoping to get coffee while still fresh. While walking, Lance made notes of what he could hear.

Keyboard tapping from Pidge’s room. Pidge was up.

Loud snoring from Hunk’s room. Hunk was still asleep. 

Tiny squeasy and scuttling from underneath of him. The mice were up and about. 

Talking from the kitchen. Keith was there, Shiro was awake. 

As he drew closer to the kitchen, Lance could hear the conversation grow louder. Now, he didn’t _mean_ to eavesdrop. Listening was just something he did. 

“...he didn’t wake up, though, which is good, I guess.” 

Keith, that was Keith talking. 

“See, I told you that things would be fine! You’re okay then, yeah?”

That was Shiro. 

“I mean, for today, I guess, but who knows about the _rest_ of the week?! Last night it was only a couple, and they were a lot smaller then most of them. It was a _good_ night, Shiro. What am I going to do if a _bad night_ comes around?!”

”Keith, I’m telling you, you have nothing to worry about. Lance is very good about accepting things about other people. It won’t be any different for you.”

Lance perked up at his name, as he strode into the kitchen, seeing Keith and Shiro at the table. He sat with them, and the two went silent, gazes on Lance. “You guys talking about me? About what? Oh, is it the flawless skin? See, Keith, I **told** you the face mask works!”

Keith quickly stood up and left, all without saying a word. 

Lance shot him a dirty look, hoping he could sense it. “What is his _problem_? He was like this yesterday, too!“ He spat, turning to Shiro. 

Shiro places his folded hands on the table, sighing. “Lance, Keith has some... let’s say, _problems_ at night.”

Lance roles his eyes. “Yeah, thanks, Shiro. I picked up on that.”

”No, Lance, it’s more then that. Keith doesn’t like to talk about it much, especially with people like you. But don’t worry about it, he’s good at keeping it in check.”

” _People like me_? What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

”I mean, people he hasn’t known for a long time. He’s kind of sensitive about this sort of thing.”

”But I don’t want to be rudely awoken during the night to something super freaky! In fact, I don’t want to be woken up at all! Why can’t Keith just stay in his room?!”

Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lance, we already discussed this. When one of Zarkon’s blasters hit the castle, it was right between you and Keith’s rooms, and that did something to the heating system. We’re trying to get it worked out, but for now you two are going to share a room that actually has _heat._

As for Keith’s problem, you _don’t need to worry about it_. He is very good at leaving the room if needed, and he won’t disturb you. Trust me, I think he’s just as scared about waking you up as you are.“

Lance scowled, pushing the chair back to stand up. “Whatever. I’m going to talk to Pidge.”

 

**———**

 

“And it’s like, he won’t even talk to me or anything! He’s _such_ a asshole!”

Lance was laying face-up on Pidge’s bed with his head handing off, ranting to them about how _annoying_ Keith was being. 

“Well, maybe there’s a reason he doesn’t want to tell you about it. You _do_ kind of have a reputation of being a dick to him,” Pidge said blankly. They were tapping away at their keyboard with tired eyes and a groggy voice. Clearly they hadn’t exactly slept much last night, which honestly wasn’t uncommon for them. 

“Well, yeah, but I still deserve to know! Do _you_ know? You’re his best friend, maybe he told you.”

Pidge shook their head. “Nope, he hasn’t mentioned anything to me. But Shiro probably knows about it, yeah?”

Lance nodded, sighing.

_What was Keith hiding?_

“He does. I talked to him a little bit ago, he said nothing that helped me. Just that Keith was sensitive about the topic and is good at not bothering anybody, and it that I need to lay off.”

”Sounds about right to me...” Pidge mumbled. Lance gave them a light smack on the leg, earning a snort from them. “Look, I don’t know why Keith is being all secretive, but I don’t think it’s something you should worry about. He’s had a difficult life, y’know, so it’s probably just something about that. And if he didn’t tell _me_ , then he’s **defiantly** not going to tell **you**.” 

That was not the response Lance was hoping to get. Pidge realized this, and quickly added, “Well, you could always find out yourself or something. Y’know, stay up and watch Keith.”

”I’m not a _stalker_ , Pidge. That would be super weird, especially if he actually didn’t do anything. And what if he found out? He’s probably think I was super weird, and that I was obsessed with him or something.”

”You sounds pretty obsessed with him to _me_...” Pidge grumbled. Lance leaned backwards more, flipping himself onto the floor. “Well, I’m **not** , thank you very much! You’re just being difficult!” 

“Darling, haven’t you learned by now? I’m _always_ difficult,” Pidge smirked. 

“Whatever. I’m getting something to eat.”

 

**———**

 

Alright. Night two. 

Lance was more cautious this time. He watched Keith more closely, but enough so he didn’t notice.

“So,” Lance started, trying to get any information from him as he could. “Did you have any troubles last night?”

Keith was surprised, to say the least, at Lance’s forwardness. Was that going to make him tell the truth? No, of course not.

“No, I was fine...” he said quietly.

”Are you sure? I didn’t wake you or anything?” Lance quirked his head, raising an eyebrow. The gesture  seemed to be enough to make Keith break eye contact, and instead down at his socked feet.

”No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I, uh, didn’t wake you up either, did I?”

Lance smirked, This was what he was looking for. “No, you didn’t disturb me at all. Why would you?”

Keith’s face went white. “No, uh, no reason! I just wanted to check!” Keith took this chance to scamper out of the bathroom and into his own bed, successfully avoiding the situation and any of Lance’s prying questions.

But Lance wasn’t done yet.

Even after the lights were out, Lance had tried to stay awake and watch Keith a bit, see what he deperarly didn’t want Lance knowing. Key word, _tried_. It was a long day, and Lance needed his beauty sleep. 

Keith, on the other hand, was having his own problems. 

 

**———**

 

Later that night, at around two fourty-five in the morning, Lance awoke. He was sure his bladder would burst any second now, and he quickly hopped out of bed and to the dark bathroom.

A minute later, Lance staggered back into  the darkness of the normal room, and flopped down on his bed. Hopefully he hadn’t woken Keith up, which would’ve been his main priority, except of the fact that Keith wasn’t even there. An empty bed was all Lance saw. 

_Where was Keith?_

His first thought was that he was probably just in the bathroom, except... _Lance_ was just in the bathroom. Of course, he could’ve done to another one, but that would’ve be very convenient, and Keith was all about convenience. 

So... _where was he_?

Maybe Lance was over thinking this. Keith was probably just roaming the castle, maybe getting something to eat. Maybe that’s what he was so self-conscious about, always being hungry. That didn’t really seem like something Keith would care about other people knowing, though. 

His thoughts echoed in Lance’s mind as he slowly fell back into sleep.

 

**———**

 

Night three. 

Earlier that day, Lance had done pretty much the same thing as the first day. Wake up in the morning to no Keith, eavesdrop on a conversation or two, rant to Hunk and Pidge, do whatever needed to be don’t that day.

Which just so happened to gruesome.

They had been running low  on some supplies, and Coran had ordered what they needed, so most of their day consisted of lifting heavy crates and loading them into the ship.

It left Lance so exhausted that he didn’t even bother to try and question Keith. All he wanted to do was collapse into bed.

Keith wanted the opposite. He had been paranoid to fall asleep ever since he had been forced to share a room with Lance. Keith knew that if he ever found out about his problems, he’d never let Keith hear the end of it. 

So now he didn’t want to fall asleep more then ever, which was kind of a problem, considering how tired he was. 

It wasn’t much longer until he gave into the tempting lure of sleep.

 

**———**

 

Keith’s whole mind felt like it was on fire. Not just his mind, his whole body, too. Especially his lungs. He was trapped, stuck underwater, watching as Shiro was dragged farther and farther down into the ocean.

Keith couldn’t move, he felt so vulnerable and useless. He had to save Shiro, all he needed to do was just _make_.. _his._.. _legs_... **_move_**..! Why weren’t they moving? Why couldn’t he move?

He tried to scream, to Shiro, to  _someone_ , for help, but no noise came. Just bubbles.

Keith realized he was running out of air, and fast. He had to get to the surface. He tried to use his arms to pull him up, but there was something he couldn’t get past. Glass, it was a glass cover, not letting him come through to the surface. 

“ **Keith**!”

Shiro, he was calling him. Keith turned back to Shiro, he was still falling deeper, deeper, deeper into the depths of the water. 

“ **Keith, help me!** ” 

Keith could only watch. His legs still wouldn’t move, and he could see as Shiro’s face lost color.

” **I can’t breat** -” Shiro inhaled sharply, and  Keith watched in horror the water sloshed into his lungs. He began to cough violently, and Keith tried Whatever he could to swim down, to try and help Shiro, to save his life. 

The dam broke in Keith’s lungs, no longer willing to hold out on air. He took a deep breath in, and felt as his lungs felt like they were on fire. Suddenly, he could move again, but Keith was too busy trying to stop the horrible feeling in his chest to notice.

Then, there was darkness.

So much darkness.

Then a light. Shiro’s soaking wet body stood in a spotlight, eyes turned completely black.

Keith took in a gasp, realizing they were out of the water. But the tight fire in his chest remained.

”S-Shiro, I-“ Keith spoke softly, taking steps towards Shiro. “Are you okay? D-Do you need help?”

He didn’t move. 

“Shiro, what’s wrong?” 

Nothing.

”S-Shiro..?”

Shiro snapped his head to look directly at Keith, making him jump. “Shiro, what are  you-“

” **You failed me.** ”

Keith swallowed. “I.. what? W-What did I do?”

” **You let me sink. Drown. You didn’t help me when I needed it most. You’re a failure.** ”

Keith wasn’t sure how to react.

”N-No, but, but you’re not-“

” **You let the greatest pilot the universe has ever seen die. You didn’t only fail me, you failed everyone.** ”

”I tried to save you, b-but, but my legs-“

” **You didn’t try hard enough. You never try hard enough. You know you’re a disappointment to everyone. Why are you even here?** ”

“N-No, I.. I thought I was a paladin of-“

” **No! Worthless!** ”

Keith didn’t realize he had been crying until he felt the ait get caught in his throat. He closed in on himself, slowly sinking to the floor. Shiro’s booming voice continued, along with other voices.

” **We dont need you here.** ”

” **Voltron would be better without you.** ”

” **People only tolerate you because Shiro is around.** ”

” **You don’t deserve Shiro.** ”

” **You don’t deserve anything.** ”

So, so many voices.

Keith felt himself almost being torn to shreds, it was almost like he was about to suffocate from the amount of tears coming overflowing from his eye. He was losing all hope, this is how he would die, how he would be remembered, if remembered at all, until-

 

Keith awoke, completely soaking wet. His whole body was marinating in an ocean of sweat, and his face was covered in tears. He shot up in bed, staggering breaths as his only oxygen supply. 

He needed Shiro, he needed to find him. He needed to apologize, to make sure he was alright. 

Keith threw off the covers and launched himself out of bed, but he was dizzy, and was barely able to stand up. The floor seemed to sway under his feet, and he collided with the wall a few times, but made it out the door and was racing down the halls.

 

_Shiro._

_I just need to find Shiro._

 

Keith slammed into Shiro’s door, a yelp escaping his lips. He quickly shook it off, placing a hand on the pad to open the door, and stumbled into the room. 

“S-Shiro!”

Shiro groaned, rolling over in bed. 

“Shiro, are you- A-Are you okay?! I-I’m so sorry, I couldn’t... I-I couldn’t...” He couldn’t take it anymore. The dam broke. Keith errupted into sobs, slowly crumbling onto the floor.

Shiro rubbed his eyes, sitting up in bed to see what was happening. Once he spotted the broken mess that was Keith, he quickly sprung up, padding over to him. 

“Hey, hey, Keith, it’s alright, don’t worry, I’m here...” he said softly. He knew something was up, Keith would only come to Shiro’s room if his nightmares were really bad. And, from the looks of it, they were.

Another big red flag was how much he was crying. Being his older brother, Shiro has learned first hand how well Keith had mastered silent crying, only sobbing like he was when he was literally on the edge of something horrible.

”I couldn’t save you, I-I’m sorry, but my legs.. they.. they wouldn’t work, a-and...” Keith choked out. Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith’s back and underneath of him, easily lifting the smaller Paladin and carrying him to the bed. There, the two of them just lie together, waiting for Keith to calm down. 

It took a while, but Shiro didn’t mind. He just wanted Keith to feel safe. 

Only when the sobbing had died down to sniffles did Shiro dare to speak. “...do you want to talk about it?” He asked gently. Keith shook his head and wiped his eyes, resting a check on Shiro’s arm.

”Alright. Just know that it was a dream, and whatever happened was all in your head. Your still loved, and everyone here wants you here.” 

Keith nodded, and Shiro wrapped an arm around him.

“ _Don’t worry, you will always be wanted here..._ ”

 

**———**

 

When Lance woke up the next morning to no Keith again, he was pretty salty. He’d even woken up at five o’clock in the morning to see if he had come back by then, but, no. His bed was still empty. 

“ _Damn it..._ ” Lance grumbled, rolling over in bed. Why the _hell_ was Keith not here? Did he actually wake up that early? Why would anyone voluntarily do that to themselves?

Nonetheless, Lance dragged himself from bed and to the kitchen. While he was walking, Pidge emerged from their door, a wild hair piled high upon their head. Lance snorted, earning a sharp punch from Pidge. “Woah, what’s gotten you so grumpy this morning?”

With only a grunt as a response, Lance figured he may as well get them a coffee before trying to communicate. 

Four cups of coffee later, as well as one for Lance, and Pidge was willing to start talking again. 

“Well? What’s up?” Lance asked, sipping from his cup. 

“I got _no_ sleep last night. _None_. On one side, I could hear Hunk snoring, and on the other side, I hear crying. The **only** time I try to actually get a decent night’s sleep, I am plagued with noises from **everywhere**.  _What. The. Actual. Hell.”_

Lance snickered, but realized something. “Wait, crying? From... Shiro’s room?” Pidge nodded, rubbing an eye. “Yeah, it was kind of weird. But I was too salty at the time to care.”

”I... well, I did hear something last night, but was too tired to check what it was, and Keith wasn’t in the room this morning.”

”Huh, that’s odd.”

A silence fell on the two Paladins, both thinking about what they had discussed. Eventually Hunk did join them, and they all talked while he made a bit of food, which only left Shiro and Keith to join. That was odd in itself, usually they were some of the first ones up. 

It wasn’t until around 8:35 that the two decided to show up. Together.

Hm.

Odd. 

Lance and Pidge glanced at them as they approached the table, and Shiro gave a crooked smile. “Hey, guys. Sorry for being so late, Keith wanted to train some and I agreed to watch over him while he went over level eight.”

That was a blatant lie. The first few times Keith had rushed into Shiro’s room in tears, the next day was always very awkward. But at this point, they were used to it. They knew they’d have to come up with a plan and backstory when showing up late for anything or always coming together, and it was almost like second nature to them by now.

So they had no problem lying to the others about this.

“Level _eight_?!” Pidge squaked. Keith nodded. “That’s why it took so long. I didn’t want to leave until I finished, so I may have underestimated how long that would take. Sorry.”

“Holy shit, I just can’t believe you actually _finished_ it,” Pidge said, earning a disapproving look from Shiro. “Watch your language, Pidge.”

After a scoff from Pidge, Shiro turned back to Lance and Keith. “Anyways, I have good news! I talked to Coran a little, and he says the room heating systems should be back up again by tomorrow. You two can move back to your rooms then.”

”That’s good,” Lance said, sipping his coffee. Keith nodded his head in agreement, then turned away to find his own cup of coffee. 

“ _Great, actually_...”

 

**———**

 

“Okay, last night. You can do this, Keith. Just one more night, and you’ll be okay. Then you can be left alone again, and Lance’ll stop bugging you with random questions. Okay. I got this.”

It was the final night of this horrible mess, and Keith was beyond exited. He hated having to leave the room whenever he woke up in tears, just sitting outside of the room in the dark hallway.

But if Lance couldn’t hear him that way, then that’s how he was going to do it. Tonight would be no different. 

He’d even waited to go to bed after Lance did, so he could psych himself up for this. He needed to be prepared for whatever was to come his way. 

So now he was sitting in his bed, trying to make himself go to sleep, but his mind kept wandering and wouldn’t let it happen. Eventually he did go out, but it wasn’t for long. 

Only an hour later was it that Keith woke up in a cold sweat, tears rolling down his checks. 

 _Shit_.

It was the dream about Hannah again.  He hated that dream.

Keith kicked his legs off the side of the bed, quickly walking out the door of the room, a hand covering his mouth. He pressed his back on the wall just opposite of the door and slid down until he met the ground. Keith pulled his knees to his chest and covered his face with both hands, finally letting the tears flow. 

Her words echoed in Keith’s mind. 

_“It’s your fault I’m dead...”_

_”You didn’t save me in time...”_

_”How could you ever call me your best friend?”_

”I’m sorry...” Keith whimpered. “I didn't know, I’m so sorry...”

 

Lance woke up to an alarm he had set for himself. It was exactly midnight. Keith _should_ be asleep, right? He would be in bed, like a normal person, right?

Wrong. 

Empty sheets again. 

“God _damn it_ ,” Lance hissed, throwing his legs over the bed. He was _going_ to find Keith, and he was _going_ to figure out what the **hell** was going on. He didn’t care what it took. 

Lance stormed out of the room, only to find a curled up Keith on the floor of the hallway. He... was he _crying_? What? Why?

But, he was so quiet...

The only way he knew was actually crying was the way his body trembled  and how his shoulders moved up and down with the sobs. 

Lance broke the silence of the hallway.

”...Keith?” 

He could hear Keith take in a sharp breath, and saw him peak through fingers. 

Keith sniffed and used the heels of his palms to wipe at his eyes, discarding and old tears, while new ones started to flow. “G-Go back to sleep, Lance..”

Lance’s eyebrows knit together, and he crouched down to Keith’s level. Keith hugged his knees, looking down the hallway instead of at Lance. 

He couldn’t look at Lance. Anywhere but Lance.

”No, Keith, I... I’m not going to leave you out here alone. Why are you crying?” He whispered. Lance didn’t want to risk speaking loudly, not wanting to scare Keith off. It was obvious that he was already scared, and he wanted to help, not add on.

”Lance, please, j-just go away,” he begged, “I’m alright by myself.

Lance’s concerned expression slowly twisted into anger. “Excuse me? _Excuse me_? You’ll be ‘alright by yourself’? What is this bullshit? I found you curled into a ball outside of our room, **_crying_** , and you just expect me to **leave** you like this? _Fuck_ that. _I’m not leaving.”_

“Lance, please, I-“

”No. I’m not leaving.”

”Then what do you want?!” Keith snaped. “If you’re so inthrawled with staying, then _what the hell do you want?_ “

“I want to help you. Tell me what’s wrong.”

A silence fell upon the two boys, the occasional sniffle it sob coming from Keith. But besides that, it was quiet. So, so, quiet. The castle wasn’t normally **loud** , per say, but it was never this _quiet,_  either.

Lance didn’t dare break the sIlene this time, too scared of the outcome. He honestly wasn’t completely sure if Keith was still functioning at this point, he may have completely broken in the silence. Can silence break someone? 

“ _Nightmares_.”

Apperently not.

Lance cocked his head, moving from on a knee to sitting down properly. “Nightmares?”

Keith nodded, wiping his eyes again. 

“Is... is that all?” Lance murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. From the look on Keith’s face, Lance realized he probably should’ve chosen better words. 

Keith silently stood up, and started to walk down the hallway, tears erupting from his eyes once again. Lance sprung up, chasing after him. 

“W-  Wait! Keith! I didn’t mean it like that!” 

“No, you’re right,” Keith breathed. “A Paladin of Voltron shouldn’t be losing sleep over nightmares.”

“No, no no no, Keith, please, wait!” 

“A Paladin if Voltron shouldn’t be scared of nightmares, sUrey they know it’s all on their head.”

”Keith, I’m sorry, I should’nt have said that!”

”Surely a Paladin of Voltron could handle silly little nightmares on their own, surely they don’t need anyone else with them.”

” ** _Keith!_** ” Lance yelled, grabbing the back of his shirt, pulling Keith back to himself. Lance wrapped his arms around Keith and slammed him into a hug. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not what I meant.”

Keith pulled himself from Lance’s grip and held himself in his arms. “Then what _did_ you mean?” He whispered. 

“I meant that I thought it would take a lot more then nightmares to make you cry,” Lance said. “Wow, that’s not much better, huh?”

Keith shook his head, setting his gaze down at his socked feet. 

“It’s okay, that doesn’t matter. What I’m trying to say is that it’s alright that you have nightmares, I just wasn’t really expecting it, is all,” Lance said softly. 

“Now, care to tell me why you were sitting in the hallway instead of the room?”

Keith looked back up at Lance. “I didn’t want to wake you up. You were really upset about the room situation, so I didn’t need to make you any more annoyed by crying too loudly.”

Lance let out a breath, shoulders slumping. “You were sitting alone in the hallway because _you didn’t want to wake me up_? Keith, why did... you didn’t have to do that, I would’ve gotten to over it pretty damn quickly if you were **crying**.”

Keith shrugged. “I’ve done it before, it’s alright.”

”No! That doesn’t make it any better! Keith, how long has this been going on?”

”Two, three years, I think.”

” ** _Years?!_** Keith, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell _anybody_?!”

Keith raised his shoulders, and balled his hands into fists. “I told Shiro!”

Lance threw his arms into the air. “Shiro’s your brother, he doesn’t count! You haven’t told me, or Pidge, or Hunk, and probably not Allura or Coran either. Why haven’t you?”

Keith sighed, hooking both hands around the back of his neck. “...I didn’t think you’d care. I assumed you’d get mad at me or something.”

Lance stared wide-eyed at Keith. “You think... you think I’d get **mad** at you?! Why would I do that?”

Keith’s cheeks were dusted in pink, and he averted his gaze from Lance’s “I don’t know! I had a dream about it once, maybe that’s why! I think irrationally sometimes!” 

“You had a dream about it? You dream about me?” Lance asked, quirking an eyebrow. Keith simply nodded. “I dream about everybody. But mostly Shiro, and Hannah.”

”Hannah? Who’s that?” Lance asked, taking ahold of Keith’s arm. He began to slowly lead them back to the room, him walking backwards while they would talk. 

Keith’s expression fell. “She... she’s an old friend I used to have. I think about her a lot, and she makes her way into my nightmares.”

Lance nodded, remembering they were talking about Keith’s nightmares. Wait, nightmares? He had nightmares about Lance? About _everybody_? About **_Shiro_**? “Wait, Keith, you’ve had nightmares about me?”

”Yeah? Didn’t we already go over this?” 

“Hold on—“ Lance turned to the room pad and opened the door, leading the two over to Keith’s bed to sit. “Okay, we’re good. Anyways, do you want to tell me what your nightmares have been about?”

”Do you want to know?” Keith asked quietly. He sat down on the bed, curling his legs into his chest. Lance nodded timidly, and Keith took a deep breath. 

“Um, I guess tonight the one was about Hannah. I was at her house, and I could here her calling my name, and I was trying to find her, but I didn’t know where she was. Eventually, I got up to her room, and I tried to open it, but.. it was locked.  

I kept trying, and I knew Hannah was in there, but the door just, it wouldn’t open. And, and Hannah’s screams just got louder, and louder, until the door finally unlocked, and Hannah stopped yelling. 

But... she.. she wasn’t there. I looked in here bathroom, and, she...” Keith had to stop, he was going to start crying again. He took shaky breaths, and held onto his arms. “I’m sorry, I..” he breathed. 

“Hey, it’s okay, buddy. Take your time,” Lance said quietly. He’d never seen Keith so emotional, so _fragile_. He was like a whole new person. 

“ _She was dead,_ ” Keith whispered, wiping tears away. Lance almost felt his heart break a little as he pulled Keith into a hug. “It’s my fault. She should be alive now, s-she needed me, and I couldn’t get there in time.. now she.. she’s...” 

Keith’s eyes overflowed in sobs, though no noise came. Silent tears. 

Lance rubbed circles on Keith’s back, letting him cry into the crook in his neck. This felt so wrong, at least for Keith. Keith was supposed to be the strong, independent, emo Paladin. And honestly, that’s what Lance thought he was, or _thought_ he was, at least.

But now, now he was holding a whole new person in his arms. This was a new version of Keith. A softer, more fragile, broken Keith. One that has had people ripped away from him, one that cries too often. One that has nightmares about the people in his life, or worst, that’ve already left.

It didn’t take a genius to tell that something more was going on, and Lance put the pieces together to get the full story.

Keith used to have a friend, (Hannah, he assumed,) that was very close with him. Hannah probably was either suicidal or in some sort of abusive situation, unaware to Keith. Eventually she was killed or committed suicide, and Keith blamed himself.

“ _She was all I had,_ “ Keith whimpered, grabbing onto Lance’s sides, creating an ‘X’ with his arms over his back. “A-And now she’s gone, and it’s all my fault... I wasn’t there for her, and, and I needed to be, but I didn’t know, and… and now I have _nothing_.”

Lance retracted from Keith, holding his shoulders at arm’s length.

“Hey, Keith, Keith… Hannah may be gone, but that doesn’t mean you have _nothing_! You have us, and Voltron, and we need you! Remember that, alright?” Lance said softly.

Keith let out a weak laugh, wiping his eyes again. “Y-You sound exactly like Shiro,” he breathed.

Something clicked in Lance’s mind, and the gears started turning once again.

 

_“...and on the other side, I heard crying!”_

 

_“I also heard something last night…”_

 

_They came in together…_

 

_Crying from Shiro’s room…_

 

_“You sounds exactly like Shiro…”_

 

“Keith, did you go to Shiro’s room last night?” Lance blurted.

Keith’s cheeks bloomed into red, and his eyes went back to scanning the empty hallways. “I… n-no, I didn’t!”

Lance raised an unconvinced eyebrow, and Keith’s shoulders slumped. They both knew it was a lie, but Lance couldn’t quite understand why Keith would lie about something like that, or even be embarrassed by it. “Y-Yeah, I did,” he grumbled.

“Why did you lie?”

“I thought you’d laugh at me for needing to see Shiro,” Keith muttered. Lance could feel a pang of guilt near his heart, and it quickly inched its way throughout his whole body and mind. Had he really been so cruel to him that Keith was _scared_ to tell him things?

Lance’s mind went back to what Keith was saying earlier,

_“Surely a Paladin of Voltron can handle some silly little nightmares, surely they don’t need anyone else with them.”_

Shiro, he was talking about Shiro. He needed to be with Shiro when he had nightmares, presumably because he was the only one who even knew about them. Because, in Keith’s mind, he was the only one who would listen, the only one who would _care_.

His mind traveled back even further to when he and Shiro had talked.

 

_“Trust me, I think he’s just as scared about waking you up as you are.”_

 

_“He’s kind of sensitive about this sort of thing.”_

 

_“He is very good at leaving the room if needed, and he won’t disturb you.”_

 

How long had Keith been going through this? Shiro had mentioned that he had shared a room with Keith in the Garrison, was Shiro talking through experience? Probably, Keith **did** say he had these for about three years.

But… but he had gotten kicked out of the Garrison after Shiro was gone, living by himself. What had he done then?

_“I dream about everybody. But mostly Shiro, and Hannah.”_

But mostly about Shiro. Mostly about Shiro, even when he was pressed to be dead. Probably _especially_  when he was presumed to be dead.

If Keith was scared now, he must have been **terrified** back then. No Shiro, no Hannah, no friends, no proper home, nothing. He had actually been alone, comepletely alone, with the people that had left his life plaguing his mind.

The Keith that Lance thought was a hothead, reckless, emo boy didn’t even _exist_. That was just the glass cover, easily broken with the right tools.

But underneath?

All there was was a terrified, abandoned, crying little boy that could only rely on two people; Shiro and himself.

“Keith, do you cut?” The question fell out accidentally, Lance normally would’ve known better then to be so direct.

He heard a hitch in Keith’s breathing, and a small, “H-How did…” Lance wouldn’t have heard it had he not been so close.

Keith took a moment to debate whether to show Lance or not. Of course, it was increasingly personal, but he had also basically given Lance his full sob story and Lance didn’t seem to be inclined to tease him, so what was there to lose?

He pulled himself from Lance’s grip, and place a hand on the waistband of his pajama pants. He swallowed, and watched as Lance’s eyes drew down to Keith's hand. Eventually, he tugged at the waistband, drawing down the right side of his leg.

Lance saw as Keith slowly began to reveal bandages on his thighs. They went up and under his boxers, and stretched almost to his knee. Keith wasn't exactly sure what to say to Lance. He could probably tell what the bandages were for, if not based on the conversation then by the lines of blood that stained the wrapped fabric, so he didn't have to explain that. He just waited for any sort of response.

The response he got was not the one he was expecting.

Lance began to cry. _Cry_. It startled Keith, to say the least, and he quickly pulled his pajama pants back up to his waist, mind frantically trying to find some way to calm him.

“Ah, L-Lance, what are… why are you crying. Please, don't… uh, d-don't cry!” He pleaded desperately.

Keith was horrible at trying to deal with situations like this. He wasn't sure what to say to calm someone down, and often missed social cues. He had tried to help a few people before, but always managed to make things even worse. This was Shiro’s territory, no doubt, but here Keith was, sitting in front of a crying Lance.

He awkwardly put his arms around Lance, trying to sooth the crying boy. “It's… uh, it's alright..” he mumbled. Lance threw his arms around Keith, making him flinch. He was still unsure as to why Lance was crying, he didn't think that he had done anything wrong, but apparently he had? He was just, so confused…

“I'm sorry—“ Lance choked, twisting his fists into Keith’s black shirt. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.. I didn’t mean to cry.”

Lance stopped, taking a moment to breath, to sniff, to wipe his eyes. He pulled himself away from Keith, looking at him with big, glistening eyes.

”Keith, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you feel alone, I’m sorry that you have nightmares. I’m sorry that you feel like you can only rely on Shiro, I’m sorry that you have to cut yourself. I’m sorry that you lost your best friends, I’m sorry you cry every night. I’m sorry that you had to be alone for a year with nothing, I’m sorry that you’ve cried so much that you’ve learned to be silent while doing it. I’m sorry that I’ve been so mean that you were scared to talk to me about this. I’m sorry you were too scared to talk to _anyone_ about this. I’m so sorry.”

Both boys went silent for a few minutes. Lance was the one to break the silence.

“I’m sorry,” Lance whispered again. “I can’t make the pain go away. But I can be here for you.”

Keith gave a painful smile, tears slipping out of his eyes and over his cheeks.

” _That’s all I’ve ever needed..._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you like the changes :)  
> I certainly did, at least. Makes it much more complete, in my opinion. 
> 
> Also! I have a Tumblr! My name is StarstruckStardust. Check me out if you’d like, give me feedback, send suggestions or any fan art. I think I’m jumping on this too early, I highly doubt I’ll get any fan art. 
> 
> Oh well, sorry to keep you for so long! Please have a good rest of your day :)


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